Sleepyhead

I haven't written a blog for a couple of weeks, which isn't through lack of something to say, its more to do with a lack of sleep.

I have always been able to sleep, anywhere and anytime.   I joke that most nights, I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow, and to be honest that's not far from the truth. 

And once I'm asleep, nothing disturbs me.  You could drop a bomb outside my room, and I wouldn't hear it, but as soon as you come into the room, I'd be awake.

Many years ago I was staying in a hotel.  About 2.00 am the fire alarm went off and all the staff and guests had to evacuate the building, into the car park.  However, I was still fast asleep in my bed, until one of the staff had to use a pass key to open my door, to rouse me.  I genuinely hadn't heard a thing.  It was a false alarm, but the guests standing outside in the middle of the night - fortunately it wasn't raining - were less than impressed that their stay in the car park was prolonged by me sleeping.

I can be in a noisy environment like a hospital, and still sleep soundly, all night.  During one stay, another patient in the same room as mine, needed to be resuscitated during the night and then rushed to intensive care.  The nurses could not believe that I had slept through the whole thing.

I used to snore very loudly.  I would keep the whole house awake with the noise, and even had neighbours comment on how noisy my snoring was.  But this didn't mean a thing to me, as I just slept through it.

I remember staying at a friends house and sleeping on his sofa.  I had gone to sleep and obviously, had started snoring loudly, as usual.  He had a pair of cats, who would sleep on his bed for a couple of hours and then would usually go downstairs and the out through the cat-flap, to enjoy the nightlife.  On this particular night, they got up as usual to go downstairs but were too scared of this booming noise coming from the living-room to venture downstairs.  They were found by my friend in the early hours, staring wide-eyed down the stairs and shaking.  He said it took at least a week before they went back to their usual night time routine, and even then they had to check out the living room, before bed time, to ensure that there was not going to be someone on the sofa, who would be making so much noise.

Even at the time when I was completely tired all the time, this wasn't because I wasn't sleeping all night, it was just because of the quality of the sleep and the difficulties I had with breathing properly.  Once I had the BiPap machine, the quality of my sleep improved, my snoring stopped, much to everyone's relief, and I was less tired during the day.

So I'm used to having a good nights sleep, and am used to getting 7 to 8 hours good quality sleep a night.

So what has changed to interrupt this slumber time?

I have a new carer who has been coming to me in the mornings to get me up and ready for the day, since before Christmas.  The time of this call should have been 6.30 am but he was very erratic with his timekeeping, and we could see him anytime between 6.00 am and 7.30 am, but never the same time two mornings running.  Anyway, I had a word with him about coming at a consistent time and we agreed that he could come at 6.00 am, which he has done ever since.

In the evenings, I do not want to be put to bed too early, and it was difficult to get carers who would come later than about 8.30 pm.  So we had agreed that my carers would come between 7.00 and half past, get me ready for bed and into my arm chair, and the Mum would help me to bed about 10.30 pm, or a bit later.

Unfortunately since the New Year, Mum has been unwell.  My regular carer, Margaret, offered to come later to put me to bed, as she does this for a few of her clients, and we agreed that she would be here from 11.00 to 11.30 pm.  The first week or so this was fine, but then we had a week where she was very much later than this.  One night for example, she walked into a clients house to find the lady on the floor after a fall.  She then had to wait for the ambulance to turn up, and take her to hospital.  This mean she wasn't here until about 12.30 am.

So I'd gone from having 7 and a half hours sleep, to then only getting 5 and a half. After a week of these very late times, I was absolutely worn out and after speaking with Margaret, she agreed to try to ensure that she will come to me earlier.  The last couple of nights have been back to round about 11.00 pm, which is much better.

But I have been amazed how this change to the amount of sleep I've been getting has effected me.

Obviously I've been very tired.  I've had this in the past, especially when I was snoring a lot and wasn't getting good quality sleep.  I'd be constantly tired, and would just drop off to sleep at any time.  I used to work at that time, and I would go to sleep at my desk, and when I got home at the end of the day.  And now I'm finding I need to have a nap in the afternoon, and even struggle to keep my eyes open watching the TV in the evenings.

But also physically it has just made everything that much harder to do.  My transfers between bed and wheelchair, or wheelchair and commode, have become that much more hard work.  Moving my arms to do things has become much more difficult, as they feel heavier and it takes more effort to do things.

But what has really shocked me is the effect it has had on me mentally.

Usually, I'm awake 10 minutes before my carer comes in, in the mornings, and we can get straight on with getting me up.  I've found when I'm tired, I might still wake up 10 minutes before he comes in, but I'm not properly awake.  And I'm much more snappy and uncommunicative.  Its alright once I've had a shower, because I'm properly awake then, but that first 10 to 15 minutes, be careful what you do or say.

And likewise, during the day, if I start to get very tired, I can revert to being difficult.

I've also found it difficult to concentrate.  I like to read for at least an hour a day.  When I've been tired, I'll read a page and not know what I've read, so have to read it again.  If Mum's talking to me, I don't find I can concentrate on what she's saying the same.

When I've been doing bits of correspondence by email, I've found myself replying to emails, to the wrong person, or chasing people for things, when I've already received them.  I have struggled to write what I want to say, and the number of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, it doesn't bear thinking about.

Writing this blog, I have had to keep checking what I've put and the spelling, and I keep finding uncharacteristic mistakes.  (I'll apologise now for any errors in the spelling and grammar).

Even now I'm struggling with writing this.

I've also found that just talking to people, I lose the tread of what I'm saying.  I'm Chairman of a local patients group for the Doctors surgery, and during the committee meeting last week, I really struggled to get through the meeting.  And once I was home, I struggled remembering what I was supposed to be doing and what tasks I needed to do.

I'm sure there are other ways that this lack of sleep is effecting me, but thankfully I'm starting to get back to my normal 7 and a half hours a night, so hopefully normal service will be resumed.

I realise that I'm very luck to be able to sleep so well, but this recent episode has just made me realise just how lucky I really am.